Can You Relate?

“What if we're all the same in different kinds of ways? Can you, can you relate?” – For King and Country

Hello everyone!

Time flies when you’re having fun, but really time always flies, so I was not aware until maybe 2 seconds ago that 2 months have passed without me writing a new post.

Since my last post I’ve read 18 books, but I am not going to review them all, because that would take a lot of time and space and I am honestly not sure if you would care enough to keep reading. Instead, I am going to talk a little bit about the book that I am currently reading, why it’s so good and how it relates to some other books that I’ve read before.

Love Me Whole by Nicky James

It feels a bit weird to review a book I haven't finished yet, but the ending must be extremely bad will I not rate it 5 stars. But let me first share the BLURB with you:

Twenty-eight-year-old Oryn Patterson isn’t like other people. Being an extremely shy, social introvert is only part of the problem. Oryn has dissociative identity disorder. He may look like a normal man on the outside, but spend five minutes with him, and his daily struggles begin to show.

Oryn shares his life and headspace with five distinctively different alters. Reed, a protective, very straight jock. Cohen, a flamboyantly gay nineteen-year-old who is a social butterfly. Cove, a self-destructive terror, whose past haunts him. Theo, an asexual man of little emotion, whose focus is on maintaining order. And Rain, a five-year-old child whose only concern is Batman.

Vaughn Sinclair is stuck in a rut. When his job doesn’t offer the same thrill it once did, he decides it’s time to mix-up his stagnant, boring routine. Little does he know, the man he meets during an impromptu decision to return to college is anything but ordinary.

Vaughn’s heart defies logic, and he finds himself falling in love with this strange new man. But how can you love someone who isn’t always themself? It may not be easy, but Vaughn is determined to try.

Whenever I see a book on Goodreads with tags like Mental Health or Disability, I usually check the BLURB, since I’ve read some before that were extremely good. Of course, there will always be books that are completely missing the point, but if it’s written very well (either because of very extensive research or personal experience), I always find myself realising how much I still don’t know. It’s one thing to read about a disability or a mental health issue, but it’s a completely different thing to read someone’s story, experiencing it first-hand, because then it suddenly becomes very real and personal.

Before I started reading, I vaguely knew that DID existed, but I honestly didn’t know anything about it except for some stupid Jim Carrey movie I once watched (and it was definitely NOT accurate). This book has taught me a lot about DID, and I would love to tell you all about it, but I honestly think I won’t do it justice, so I really urge you to read the book yourself. What I do want to get into is the fact that by reading stories like Oryn’s, I realised that even though the characters are labelled by society as ‘different’ or ‘not normal’, they are the most precious people I’ve ever met (read about? But it always feels like I’ve met them).

Getting to know them makes me want to befriend them, and I can honestly say that at the end of the books, I always genuinely love and care about them. I think most people who read Love Me Whole will say that the most beautiful thing about it is Vaughn’s love for Oryn (including his five alters), but I think the most beautiful thing about it is that you get to experience what it is like to love him (THEM) yourself. At first, it felt a bit weird, and I honestly only cared for Oryn (and Vaughn), but as the story progressed, I realised loving Oryn meant loving all of his alters. I learned that they each possess unique and wonderful qualities that make them who they are, and I started to care for all of them. Books like this show us how easy it is to love someone if you simply take the time to understand them and not simply dismiss them because they seem different.

I encourage you not only to read books like Love Me Whole, but also to put what you learn into practice. Take time to get to know people, try to understand them and don't be afraid to love that what makes them different. It'll be worth it.

And trust me, in the end you’ll find that they are not even that different from you at all.

Other books about Mental Health/Disability that might interest you: 1. Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz 2. Carry the Ocean & 3. Shelter the Sea by Heidi Cullinan 4. The Dangerous Art of Blending In by Angelo Surmelis 5. Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You by Peter Cameron

If you have recommendations for me as well, please let me know!

Love, Annabel